dEMOLICIOUS

A Most Fascinating Contraption

 

Oh, it will make your bed and tuck you in

And play the “Theme from ‘Shaft’” on violin

Then it will clean your sheets and fluff your pillows

And keep your attic free of armadillos

 

It’s a most fascinating contraption

It can’t say no

It’s a most fascinating contraption

Just wind it up, sit back, and let it go

 

And it will take you to forbidden zones

Then it will click its heels and send you home

Oh, it has countless charms and endless uses

It will call up your mom to make excuses

 

It’s a most fascinating contraption

It can’t say no

It’s a most fascinating contraption

Just say the word and it shall make it so

 

Invented by a doctor named Moreau

It’s cooler than a naked Eskimo

Like something out of Edgar Allan Poe

 

It will fix anything that you want mended

Elongate anything you want extended

It knows a million different ways to make you laugh

Then it will go to church and pray on your behalf

 

It’s a most fascinating contraption

It stands alone

It’s a most fascinating contraption

A house without one isn’t quite a home

It’s a most fascinating contraption

It’s my only friend

It’s a most fascinating contraption

The only one on whom I can depend